Defrosting My Windshield...and My Heart

With the sun rising behind the mountains beside me, I climbed in my car this morning and realized my windows were frosty. "Ahhhh...back to this again," I thought. I turned my defrost on full blast and waited approximately nine seconds before putting my car in reverse and easing down the driveway, only to realize my nine second threshold of patience had done nothing to melt my obstructed view. I rolled down a couple windows, looked both ways, and pulled into the street. As I turned out of the neighborhood, the big ball of blinding light that had only seconds earlier been hiding behind the mountains now beamed directly at my face.

A couple years ago, my then-roommates scolded me about my dirty windshield. "How can you see ANYTHING out of this?!" they exclaimed. I believe my response was to shrug my shoulders and smirk. It's not that I don't want to see, it's just that sometimes the work of clearing the obstacles seems less important than other tasks. Until I'm driving down the road and realize I am operating a four thousand pound machine without the help of a very crucial sense. Like this morning. (Don't worry, I pulled over and waited another nine seconds for my field of vision to be restored).

Isn't this just how I am with heart tasks, though? There's that pesky feeling of sadness, or anger, or regret, but I don't have the time/energy/guts to deal with it right now. There's that familiar ache in my heart over a once again unmet desire, but it's easier to just keep driving and pretend I don't need to clear the frost in order to drive. Until I can't. Until I'm half a spoonful deep in a carton of ice cream and realize my sudden appetite for Ben and Jerry's is really my heart crying out to be defrosted. Until I wake up one morning with a crick in my neck and wonder if my aching but dampened spirit decided to leak the ache out my muscles.

I can ignore my blocked vision until I need to, well, SEE in order to survive. I can ignore my aching heart for longer, but she will only be cast aside for so long before she will come calling in other ways. Maybe taking an extra minute or two to defrost my windows and tend to my heart is more crucial than I am willing to admit.

What about you? How do you tend to your spirit, and what happens if you don't?